And now for something completely different.....

I feel my little infant Blog is at risk of becoming an Animal Rights activist hate fest, so I have decided to post something completely different and fun.

This post is based solely from my own experience:

How (not) to change the transmission oil on a tractor:

1.       Climb under tractor to check drain plug size

2.       Climb out and get socket and oil tray/drums

3.       Climb under tractor and attempt to remove drain plug

4.       Climb out from under tractor and get correct size socket

5.       Climb under tractor and attempt to remove drain plug

6.       Climb out from under tractor and find a length of pipe to put on socket handle to loosen overtight bolt

7.       Climb under tractor and attempt to remove drain plug

8.       Drop socket just out of reach

9.       Climb out from under tractor, go around other side and retrieve socket

10.   Climb back under tractor and attempt to remove drain plug

11.   Knock skin off knuckles, swear

12.   Retrieve socket from where it landed after being ejected in fit of rage

13.   Remove drain plug

14.   Let oil run down arm and drip off elbow

15.   swear

16.   Drop drain plug

17.   Put drum under drain plug with bung slightly out of line with oil stream from bunghole

18.   Run more oil down arm

19.   Hold drum up to catch oil flow, allow arm to get tired

20.   Overflow drum, run more oil down arm

21.   Swap drum, repeat steps 17 to 20

22.   Climb out from under tractor (kneel in dogshit if available)

23.   Remove oil drums from under tractor (spill some in the process)

24.   Spend 10 minutes trying to find dropped bung in grass

25.   Rinse off bung

26.   Climb back under tractor and screw in drain plug, search for Socket

27.   Climb out from under tractor and search for socket

28.   Climb under tractor and tighten drain plug

29.   Skin knuckles again

30.   Climb out from under tractor

31.   Spend 10 minutes finding funnel

32.   Get oil and funnel , remove transmission filler cap

33.   Inset funnel

34.   Remove cap from oil drum, pour into funnel

35.   Knock funnel from filler, pour oil down side of transmission

36.   Replace funnel in filler, pour in oil

37.   Repeat steps 33 to 36 3 times minimum

38.   Wipe off dipstick

39.   Start tractor, check for leaks

40.   Blow hydraulic hose and pump half the fresh oil out on the ground